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Wedding: a Trigger in Relationship Anxiety or Commitment Phobia?

 

 

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Ever notice how a life celebration (ie. wedding) can cause a lot of negativity, depression or anxiety in people? This is supposed to be the happiest day in two peoples’ lives, so how come there’s all this stress, anger and hostility?

There’s nothing like the anticipation of this big event to get people coming together to engage, like the wedding weekend. If you’re excited about this event because it’s important to you or if you are anticipating the worst scenario during this event, then you’re probably stressed or experiencing a trigger in relationship anxiety or commitment phobia*.

If you don’t like these thoughts, feelings or attitude, you have the capacity to change them. With the help of a licensed counselor, like a LMFT, you can talk about the anticipated fears, stress, relationship insecurities, etc. in a safe, nonjudgmental and confidential space.

If what you’re doing isn’t working anymore, talk it out with me. Relationships are complicated, so why let them complicate your life?

If you’d like to start online therapy with me, please call me for a free 15 minute assessment session.

*For more on Relationship Anxiety & Commitment Phobia https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/01/08/what-is-commitment-phobia-relationship-anxiety/

 

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Hidden Relationship Patterns That Make Women Depressed

A Secret Sadness: The Hidden Relationship Patterns That Make Women Depressed reveals how it is all-to-common for women to feel devalued in their relationships with their parents and significant others. Patterns of how people treated you as a child can carry over into adulthood and have a huge impact on your relationships with others later in life as well as how you see yourself. Learn the patterns and steps to find your own value and roles in life.

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Coping with Life Challenges?

 

Coping with Life Challenges is a textbook for psych grad students, however its a fantastic resource if you’ve had some recent changes in your life (like breakups, having a child, or a major illness.) If your life is much different than it was a few years or even a few months ago, this book can be very helpful.

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What Are Your Feelings Trying to Tell You?

“I’m feeling bad and don’t know why…” is one of the most common statements I hear in my practice. Many people aren’t “in touch” with their feelings, so they are surprised when they “feel bad for no reason.” For these clients, I suggest they pick up a copy of:

The Language of Emotions is a fantastic book that many people find very helpful. Often times we feel things and if we don’t express them they can find a way to express themselves. If you’ve ever wondered why you felt a certain way and didn’t know why or what to do, this book should be your first start. A great way to learn about what your emotions mean and how to process them in a healthy way.

 

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Stress or Chronic Stress?

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Are things in your life getting out of control? Daily hassles, work, commitments, money, family, friends, partner, sleep problems, appetite changes, low energy, life events… it all adds up, leaving you exhausted, sick and more stressed.

Everyone gets stressed from time to time, but if you’re experiencing high stress regularly over time, it may start affecting your physical health. Chronic Stress takes a toll on your body and brain which influences your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

If you’re tired of being tired or you’re looking to manage the stress in your life, contact me for a free consultation. Let’s see if Health Coaching is for you!

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Honestly, it Helps

Let’s be honest. No one likes going to therapy. It means you’re “crazy” or “messed up” or “something really bad must have happened.” I get why people think that. But it doesn’t have to be.

I usually only see people when they “have had enough” or “don’t know what to do anymore.” It’s like therapy is a last hope.

Let’s get really honest. Therapy isn’t just for those in crisis, it’s for anyone who wants to be a better version of themselves. Think of it as a weekly check-in: how are you? Really, how are you?

Wondering how to feel more confident, be more motivated and reach your full potential? Therapy is the answer. It might not be the answer you wanted to hear. But when you’re ready, let’s be honest: I’ll be HERE to help you.

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15 things to DIY Therapy (during the Holidays)

73532165Everyone gets stressed during the holidays. Whether you’re hosting Friendsgiving or traveling on Christmas Eve to your family, it’s going to get you somewhere along the way.

                So what do you do when everyone is on vacation, including your therapist? Do It Yourself! Be your own therapist during the Holidays and cope with stress by checking-in yourself using these 15 self-care tips:

 Remind yourself to take care of your BODY (which you probably already know, but here’s a refresher):

  1. EAT as balanced as possible (one of the hardest during holidays with all the food!)
  2. MOVE your body everyday (walking counts!)
  3. Drink enough WATER to stay hydrated (drink extra if you’re drinking alcohol!)
  4. Get outside & fresh AIR, even if it’s cold! (wear sunscreen/put on layers & get that vitamin D)
  5. Get some Sleep, not too much, not too little. Try not to eat, drink or USE A SCREEN before bed.

    Remind yourself to take care to CONNECT (P.S. person-to-person, not on social media):

  1. Cut the TOXIC and paste the HELPFUL: surround yourself with Optimistic and positive attitudes (no pessimistic, jaded or judgmental person ever helps)
  2. Balance commitments & fun socializing: make sure you get to “just hang out” (no strings attached)
  3. Feel emotionally close to one (or more) other person by being you, just you (friends and family count too, not just romantic partner)
  4. Enjoy the “pure” moments of the holidays: (maybe a sense of Belonging)
  5. Laugh with others (obviously not at others.) Laughing with others is straight up the best coping during the holidays!

Remind yourself of the need to DISCONNECT (when it’s “too much” or overwhelming for you!)

  1. Take a BREAK in the moment & BREATHE
  2. Use the break to RELAX in the moment. BREATHE in (“you got this”), BREATHE out (“the BS”)
  3. Take some time AWAY from your stress. Do something you Enjoy to distract and Recharge: listen to music, dance, walk, bath, color, you name it!
  4. Ability to LET GO (of what is stressing you out) through #11 (break), #12 (relax) & #13 (recharge)
  5. Ability to GET BACK: once you let go, you’ll have the emotional energy to pick up where you left off and get back to your holidays

I think we all have to remember that we are ALL stressed out by the good and not so great times during holiday season. So let’s do ourselves a favor, be as KIND and PATIENT with OTHERS and with YOURSELF.

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Generation Stress

As usual, I’m curious to know more! Are more people younger generations self-reporting their stress or actually experiencing more stress psychologically than previous generations?

I imagine that living through The Great Depression was EXTREMELY stressful, but I also imagine that disclosing that stress was not appropriate or even considered by The Silent Generation (or Matures).

So who can say?