Wedding: a Trigger in Relationship Anxiety or Commitment Phobia?

 

 

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Ever notice how a life celebration (ie. wedding) can cause a lot of negativity, depression or anxiety in people? This is supposed to be the happiest day in two peoples’ lives, so how come there’s all this stress, anger and hostility?

There’s nothing like the anticipation of this big event to get people coming together to engage, like the wedding weekend. If you’re excited about this event because it’s important to you or if you are anticipating the worst scenario during this event, then you’re probably stressed or experiencing a trigger in relationship anxiety or commitment phobia*.

If you don’t like these thoughts, feelings or attitude, you have the capacity to change them. With the help of a licensed counselor, like a LMFT, you can talk about the anticipated fears, stress, relationship insecurities, etc. in a safe, nonjudgmental and confidential space.

If what you’re doing isn’t working anymore, talk it out with me. Relationships are complicated, so why let them complicate your life?

If you’d like to start online therapy with me, please call me for a free 15 minute assessment session.

*For more on Relationship Anxiety & Commitment Phobia https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/01/08/what-is-commitment-phobia-relationship-anxiety/

 

15 things to DIY Therapy (during the Holidays)

73532165Everyone gets stressed during the holidays. Whether you’re hosting Friendsgiving or traveling on Christmas Eve to your family, it’s going to get you somewhere along the way.

                So what do you do when everyone is on vacation, including your therapist? Do It Yourself! Be your own therapist during the Holidays and cope with stress by checking-in yourself using these 15 self-care tips:

 Remind yourself to take care of your BODY (which you probably already know, but here’s a refresher):

  1. EAT as balanced as possible (one of the hardest during holidays with all the food!)
  2. MOVE your body everyday (walking counts!)
  3. Drink enough WATER to stay hydrated (drink extra if you’re drinking alcohol!)
  4. Get outside & fresh AIR, even if it’s cold! (wear sunscreen/put on layers & get that vitamin D)
  5. Get some Sleep, not too much, not too little. Try not to eat, drink or USE A SCREEN before bed.

    Remind yourself to take care to CONNECT (P.S. person-to-person, not on social media):

  1. Cut the TOXIC and paste the HELPFUL: surround yourself with Optimistic and positive attitudes (no pessimistic, jaded or judgmental person ever helps)
  2. Balance commitments & fun socializing: make sure you get to “just hang out” (no strings attached)
  3. Feel emotionally close to one (or more) other person by being you, just you (friends and family count too, not just romantic partner)
  4. Enjoy the “pure” moments of the holidays: (maybe a sense of Belonging)
  5. Laugh with others (obviously not at others.) Laughing with others is straight up the best coping during the holidays!

Remind yourself of the need to DISCONNECT (when it’s “too much” or overwhelming for you!)

  1. Take a BREAK in the moment & BREATHE
  2. Use the break to RELAX in the moment. BREATHE in (“you got this”), BREATHE out (“the BS”)
  3. Take some time AWAY from your stress. Do something you Enjoy to distract and Recharge: listen to music, dance, walk, bath, color, you name it!
  4. Ability to LET GO (of what is stressing you out) through #11 (break), #12 (relax) & #13 (recharge)
  5. Ability to GET BACK: once you let go, you’ll have the emotional energy to pick up where you left off and get back to your holidays

I think we all have to remember that we are ALL stressed out by the good and not so great times during holiday season. So let’s do ourselves a favor, be as KIND and PATIENT with OTHERS and with YOURSELF.